... supping a cool autumn bronchial wine with Salvador, the peanut-roasting dragon of all anus-to-testes tomfoolery.

"Greetings, sir" exclaimed Salvador, "would you like a biscuit?" Completely taken aback by the kindliness of this creature smelling of coleslaw, Bertram gladly accepted a custard cream and dunked away like there was no tomorrow. "You know what would go nicely with this?" said Bertram...