I know it's not my turn, but since nobody else can be bothered:

..."Pee on my Leg and tell ME it's raining!" This they thusly did so, sir, and went on their merry way, holding hands and tap-dancing the tune to Neighbours. These actions just so happened to be the exact instructions for the spell of communing with deceased poultry, as detailed on page 5096 of 'Duck Acorah's Mystical Recipes of the Dead'. Just as they reached the bit where Madge's window gets broken by an errant cricket ball, their bleeding eyes were confronted with...